Saturday, April 28, 2007

Random post

I have to do this NOW. Right now - for a minute later, either my phone or my internal calendar will start ringing real loud and I will walk away yet again. And you will never realize that I ever came here, wanted to post and was even half way through it, before I decided against and walked away.

This is a random post. Random thoughts in a random order at a random time.

My outlook (not the synonym to attitude but the Microsoft software) is a clear indicator of my work life balance. In my inbox are two subfolders - Personal and Interesting. While the former stores mails from my loved ones and acquaintances, the latter has mails that I find interesting (but don't have the time to read right away). At any point of time, the number of unread mails in those folders is a good indication of how much I care for my life. An average combined total is between 3 to 5. That's the zone that I am most comfortable with. If it's 7 or 8, then I should take a deep breath and go for a walk. If the number is more than 10, I know I am losing it. I need get out of my office right now, buy a dozen books, dozen more movies, go to place where the hutch puppy can find me and so can the internet. If it's 15, you better call the ambulance.

The number now is 21. The earliest mail in that folder was sent on 15 Feb 2007.

Not that I didn't realize. I took a vacation. A week long sojourn to travel to Chennai and Kerala, be with parents, brush up my malayalam and have some delicious fish curry. Was supposed to come back from Kerala to Chennai on Saturday and reach Bangalore on Monday. Spend the time in between doing nothing. I was at office on Friday. Booked an emergency bus on Thursday night landed for work on time the next day.

Mom tells me, I need to go to a doctor right now. And I believe, it will pass.

I believe it will. And I believe I am making the best use of my time. I got a chance to be the editor of two different magazines at the same time, was part of the editorial board of another; I auditioned for a play and won the part, enrolled for an advanced course on acting (and did some really interesting short plays); I am doing some interesting things at work, some new responsibilities (and a promotion that happened). All this plus meeting a lot of interesting people and talking about things that matter and will matter for a long time to come.

And if I am not sitting here now and listing it down, I would continue to believe that it is the best use of my time. But I have been here. I know where this road goes and where it ends.

It will pass, I tell myself. Next month, it'll all be back to normal. It's true. This is just bad timing. It's true.

It's also true that I faintly remember hearing this before.