Freaky chakra continues to roll!
What is it about me that attracts freaks! On second thoughts, I don't think I want you to answer that question (No really!). The other day I was one among those few who use the public transport system in namma bangaluru (not few enough however that I could get a seat). I was standing right at the end of the bus lost in thought as usual, wondering if I had missed out on sending some mail or how many crows would actually be shitting on a bald man's head this very second and other epoch-making trivialities like these. Behind me, I could hear a soft murmur of an old man. Given that I have the habit of talking to myself when I am alone, I didn't quite bother to turn around and continued indulging myself in more philosophical pursuits.
After sometime, I realized the person behind me was quite agitated - he was like, "How can I be in two places at the sametime. I am a marketing guy and I do marketing (that's news!). Why do you treat me like this?". I still didn't want to turn and realized he must be on a mobile talking to somebody. The argument started growing louder with time and after sometime, people seated in front of us staring looking back at him and then at me. I gave them an expression of "I have no idea what he's talking about" and smiled incredulously.
4 minutes later - I realized he was actually rocking in his place because every 3rd second I could feel him breathe down my neck and the stench of tobacco made me want to puke! By now, everybody in the bus had looked back once or twice and had actually decided we were together. Some old man tried telling me something in kannada and I gave him a smile of a loser who was sitting on a pile of shit and realized it late, tried explaining to him that we aren't related which by then sounded extremely lame coz' as a conscientious young man, I was supposed to take care of him. So, I finally turned around to look at THE one who was by now the "apple" of everyone's eyes.
He looked exactly like Jamie Foxx in Ray (and hence by transitivity, like Ray) - those dark glasses, the same wrinkled expression, the same color and the same build, just that he was a little older. But that was the least relevant piece of information! He caught me in the eye, thrusted his entire weight upon my shoulder and started telling me man-to-man that "Friendship is a gift. it's selfless. Anyone who's selfish is not your friend. they are out to get you! (and I am russel crowe, you are ed harris! Let's see if the KGB is following this bus). Take care son! take care!". I nodded my head vigorously, trying to look for some help. But by now, everyone in the bus knew he was "taken care of" and so lost interest. I am not exactly sure what happened after that - I remember having nodded my head a lot, having clutched the seat tightly hoping I don't faint out of the stink, having asked him a lot of times where he wanted to go? was he in the right bus? if there's anything I can do? (He gave me this - "Are you nuts! they are after you and you are wondering what you can do to me!" look and completely convinced me that grave danger I am in). Finally, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the yellow board that read "Mother theresa circle". I found that guy a seat and practically jumped out of the bus before they catch me and ask me to drop him right till majestic.
Incidentally, our nice-shirt-guy called twice but unfortunately, I have not been able to attend to his call. To call him back and get into trouble is too adventurous to my taste. I am waiting :)
After sometime, I realized the person behind me was quite agitated - he was like, "How can I be in two places at the sametime. I am a marketing guy and I do marketing (that's news!). Why do you treat me like this?". I still didn't want to turn and realized he must be on a mobile talking to somebody. The argument started growing louder with time and after sometime, people seated in front of us staring looking back at him and then at me. I gave them an expression of "I have no idea what he's talking about" and smiled incredulously.
4 minutes later - I realized he was actually rocking in his place because every 3rd second I could feel him breathe down my neck and the stench of tobacco made me want to puke! By now, everybody in the bus had looked back once or twice and had actually decided we were together. Some old man tried telling me something in kannada and I gave him a smile of a loser who was sitting on a pile of shit and realized it late, tried explaining to him that we aren't related which by then sounded extremely lame coz' as a conscientious young man, I was supposed to take care of him. So, I finally turned around to look at THE one who was by now the "apple" of everyone's eyes.
He looked exactly like Jamie Foxx in Ray (and hence by transitivity, like Ray) - those dark glasses, the same wrinkled expression, the same color and the same build, just that he was a little older. But that was the least relevant piece of information! He caught me in the eye, thrusted his entire weight upon my shoulder and started telling me man-to-man that "Friendship is a gift. it's selfless. Anyone who's selfish is not your friend. they are out to get you! (and I am russel crowe, you are ed harris! Let's see if the KGB is following this bus). Take care son! take care!". I nodded my head vigorously, trying to look for some help. But by now, everyone in the bus knew he was "taken care of" and so lost interest. I am not exactly sure what happened after that - I remember having nodded my head a lot, having clutched the seat tightly hoping I don't faint out of the stink, having asked him a lot of times where he wanted to go? was he in the right bus? if there's anything I can do? (He gave me this - "Are you nuts! they are after you and you are wondering what you can do to me!" look and completely convinced me that grave danger I am in). Finally, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the yellow board that read "Mother theresa circle". I found that guy a seat and practically jumped out of the bus before they catch me and ask me to drop him right till majestic.
Incidentally, our nice-shirt-guy called twice but unfortunately, I have not been able to attend to his call. To call him back and get into trouble is too adventurous to my taste. I am waiting :)
posted by Rathish at 4:52 PM
4 Comments:
The Ray allegory suugests he was blind. Was he?
So do we wait over the weekend to hear about the date with the nice-shirt-guy ?? ;)
dude..i seriously think they are out to get you. but then who are "they"? and why YOU!!...couldnt they get a nicer human specimen?? I did not know you were such a chicken my friend, not pickin up the other guy's (mating) calls? btw...i have seen real magnets...heard of some business magnets...been with a lot of chick magnets(ofcourse u r one) and even "trouble" magnets but you are truly the first(and probably the only) freak magnet that I know of!!
@Modi - I don't think he was - but he had these dark glasses inside the bus, was staring at nothing and had these wrinkles to the side that made him look a lot like Jamie Foxx's potrayal of Ray.
@Vivitsa - well, well! You would have to wait much longer ;)
@Santhosh - there are so many other things I wish I were! Freak magnet????
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