On breaking hearts and napkin sales

Over the last few weeks, there's been a lot on the media and print about how to cope up with break ups, how to break up safely yada yada ... suddenly it seems everywhere. Not sure if it's due to the ubiquity of cupid or just that this is the season of break-ups (remember while I was at copenhagen, my friend told me that december is the month of breakups as there're too many parties, too much to drink and too much in-my-neighbours-bed sex and hence too many breakups). Not just the media, lots of sweet, wonderful, holding-hands-and-walking-towards-horizon couples have ended their bliss and have been filling metropolitan wells and water sources.

Was thinking today that what hurts in such cases is not so much the absence of that person in your life but the fear that you are not loved in return. It's probably rejection that gets the tears on - As in so many cases, if the parents reject but they still confess love for eachother but go their ways with life, I guess it hurts much lesser than betrayal or one of them falling out of love.

Sometimes, when in a philosophical bent, I end up telling my friends that if indeed she's that special and if indeed she made your life so wonderful, you should be glad that she came into your life ever and that you are one among those special people who she ever thought she could live rest of her life with. Let's face it - what made you think she could ever be yours? Rather than looking at what you have lost, it makes a world of difference when you look at what you have gained - a timespan that's worth a lifetime. I know - easier said than one. I shouldn't be talking.

And then there's this I-ME philosophy - I am ok. But people expect ME to be sad, depressed and try to tell me why life always goes on. SHE expects me to be sad as much as SHE is at least and tries to "Cheer me up" by talking of pleasant things while I think the same way and am disappointed that SHE is not as sad as I am. Worst of all, I expect ME to be sad, to crib and to write long passages on love that was lost - all as if I and ME are 2 different people. The best thing that can happen in a break up is for 2 people to treat themselves and each other as uncomplicatedly as they could treat before the breakup.

Anyways, I am sincerely sorry (that's not the right word) for those so many of them who I know deserve to be together. Just one piece of advice - Don't get wimpy. This is probably the most important time of your life when you should play the busy-bee, do the things that you love the most and become a better person for a cause that's lost. Amen.