Monday, May 16, 2005

As Arnie would say ....

It took me a long shower, 4 glasses of piping hot tea, lots of U2 and a long walk in a deserted road in the wee hours of the night to wear the week off my shoulders. I was seriously hoping that I end up spending the last few hours of a sunday on a dance floor so that I can jump, hop, shake, faint and do whatever it takes to start this week afresh. Sitting in my office today, I am still not completely awake but thank god! I am still alive and smiling :)

I have been contemplating for quite sometime now that I should take a break from blogging - I thought I would do it sometime in June when the play will be over, when I would have a whole year of blogging behind me, and when I would be home spending time with my parents. But then, just as everything else, these things just happen. True, there was a lot of work at office. But I am sure if I had tried hard enough, I would have definitely have been able to pen a few words here. But ...
  • I was increasingly getting a feeling that, I had started living my life in third person, watching it waltz from the sidelines and see it through the literary lens where even the most insignificant moment was blown for the sake of filling space here.
  • I was getting more self-absorbed and introspective because after my blog arrived, the need to talk to, have conversations with people had slipped to dangerous limits, close to the line that demarcates the social beings from the social misfits.
  • Deep down, I thought I was losing the deep desire to put something to words just because I love doing it.
So, I thought of going back to the "real world", where I work like a mink, chatter like a empty vessel, stop thinking in blogs and snore like a pig when I sleep. And here's what I realized. No matter how I feel about it,
  • I really miss talking to my blog. It never asks for more, never reads between the lines and loves fuzziness as much as I do, if not more.
  • My blog is a wonderful balancing mechanism. So many blogs I post yet don't publish, so many lines that I write and delete, so many lines that I want to write but don't - all of which my blog remembers and forgets - is my sink, my fluid between my ears that balances my pose, poise and posture.
  • Contrary to what I think, if not for the blog, I would be miniscule entity caught in the vice and vagaries of my own existence. My blog helps me reach out, see beyond my nose and touch lives of people or at least make an effort to do so.
Last night, as I tottered into my house again and stood under the shower, I felt that pristine burning desire again - to write something, to express amorphic, aimless trains of thoughts in straight lines and characters. And suddenly, I have so many things to write about - books, movies, people, surgeries, accidents, kodak moments and photo finishes ..... as that drunk guy, in the movie I love, exclaimed to Dorothy Boyd flashing his million dollar smile, "I am back!"

6 Comments:

Blogger Acoustic Dreamer said...

"There's no such thing as the REAL WORLD
JUst a lie you've got to rise above"
:) Chill.
And yes, blog only when YOU want to!

2:39 PM  
Blogger RS said...

Rathish, a post that I do not want to relate to, but do anyway...sigh...you said all the things I have been saying to myself but just not loud enough for me to actually hear it. But, I like happy endings and since yours ended happily, I am happy :)

Welcome back.

5:42 AM  
Blogger vivitsa said...

Hmm!!! Good to have you back buddy!!

9:15 AM  
Blogger Kumari said...

And did i tell ya that we(me n my blog) missed ya?

10:10 AM  
Blogger Sachin said...

"You can take Rathish outta the blog but You cannot take the blog outta Rathish." You're here to stay dude, blog away and rock the place down !!
Oh,pleeze get me 2 tickets for ur play,'Sir'. (Somehow ur usage of the word when u greet me like that makes u sound Berry berry Old. Will ye make it for Okri's play ?

4:58 PM  
Blogger Rathish said...

@acoustic dreamer - Yes sir!

@RS - you know ramya, we are like "siamese twins" with a 3 month phase difference :)

@Vivitsa - thanks :) it's good to be back too :)

@Kumari - oh. don't worry. I heard that loud and clear.

@Sachin - Me calling YOU "sir", makes ME look old! No wonder, showing respect and regard is thought to be a thing of the past (I mean, the generation I belong to!) ;) I have already reserved 2 tickets for you :)

@Everyone: thanks!

9:47 AM  

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