Bus-adventures: Mr & Mrs Lonawalah

Mr. Chunniram Lonahwalah is a happy man; Well, not as happy as he would like to be. But still happy enough to be called a happy man. Chunniram Lonahwalah just got married to someone one presumes is very pretty because from where one sits, she resembles a colorful rajasthani bed sheet spread across an ugly pile of clothes a beautiful girl finds when she enters a bachelor's room. One wouldn't know what she is called either coz Chunniram believes to keep it low - both the volume and the profile. The closest guess one could come up with is "Didi", as the prematurely tall boyish faced boy in the first seat of the bus keeps screaming for the whole bus to hear.

Well, the reason why chunniram is not happy as he wants to be is because (as you can imagine), of all places he could have been in with his wife, the least interesting one would be on a rickety bus from ITPL to MG road through Marathahali. Not just the bus but the route itself - it's one of the most dreary roads you can travel in. The whole road and around have a parched look; there's a veil of dust on every vehicle that passes by and there's a perennial bottleneck on top of marathahalli bridge. Even beyond the hustle-bustle of the market, when the roads are quiet and the walls are high, there's not a single enjoyable sight that one can watch. Of course, Mr and Mrs Lonahwalah are making up for it with a whole array of nervous giggles, naughty comments, nudges and namasthes to auntyjis who once in a while drop in to give the new bride some tips. Once in a while, Chunniram will point to a chevrolet or a skoda on the roads and belt out details and specs to his wife's amazement. And once he finishes, he'll raise his chin just to the right level, correct his hair that fell over his forehead and a give a knowing wink to his wife.

And then, it happened. The boy sitting in the corner seat, suddenly jumped out his seat and started waving his hands violently at something. Was it a bird? Was it superman? No, it's a plane! There, beyond the walls, was an boeing air india with its painted windows and moustached maharaja taxiing in the runway. And in a split second, half the bus (all part of the entourage) was on its gasping at the wonder of the twentieth century.

But our Chunniram Lonahwalah was not moved. After all, he's a cool guy. He wears FILA T-shirts and Leevis jeans, drinks "Oye bubbly" pepsi with pijja-wijja and knows chevrolet and skoda by name. He can't get excited about a plane of all things. He nudged his wife to sit down and "behave herself". She meanwhile was too kicked with the moving, flying miracle and was asking chunniram questions as to when it will fly in the air". When he realized his own wife wasn't keen on listening to him, he turned to software engineers sitting behind him (isn't there always one!) and wondered aloud how he can't believe that people are getting so kicked about an aeroplane of all things. The software engineer gave a considerate nod but was at a loss for words and hence blanked out. Chunniram then shifted to his attention to the Chevrolets, the skodas and later even to the maruti 800s and the rare LML vespas. Time flew but the plane didn't and the moans and gasps of his wife were starting to make him feel insecure. He gave a sheepish smile to the software engineer, gave a "what the hell is all this about" and started jutting his head out from his seat. Just as he was half way through his ascent, the wife turned back, caught him standing and asked something that sounded like, "Want to see a plane?" and smiled. No, smirked is more like it. Our man gave his best sheepish smile, one that only men caught in the wrong time are capable of! Slam dunk. Didi 1, chunni ram 0.

Software engineers sitting around thought, that very moment tilted the subtle balance of power in the favour of the damsel. They did a quick fast forward of chunniram lonawalah's life and saw in eastman color his plight a couple of years later, the details of which are left to your imagination. Extend, Emagine, Ensoy, Empathize :)